Letting go is a hard thing to do sometimes…but when we get stuck and stagnated it is a sign it’s time to go….not always an easy thing to do. We get so attached as human beings to people, places, things and ways of being. We cling to what we know because we are so afraid of what we do not know. It’s okay to feel the fear….but heck, we must do it anyway. 😉

I have given up my paper, my scissors and my glue for the time being. I will still use it occasionally for original pieces that I might put up for sale…etc. But I have decided to embrace new technology and let it start working for me…not so easy when you are pushing 60! WTH? When did that happen? lol

There was a big learning curve making the switch to digital; and I kept wanting to resist it for some reason; and I literally had to sit down and make a list of pros and cons of each medium to figure out what direction to go in…I guess the issue was I had the mindset that if I went to digital I would “paint” and not collage or do some type of combo of each and honestly; that I think was the stumbling block…thinking I had to reinvent the wheel or something! I’m not a painter… not really… and I had found success in the past with my cut-paper collage technique. Heck, I had a powerful dream in the middle of a sound sleep waking me up shouting “DO COLLAGE!!!!” when I was trying to break into the business so why should I abandon it now? I mean somebody wanted me to get on that road and bad!!!

Oddly enough, I seemed to have forgotten I had already been down this road a few years previous. I had purchased a second hand Wacom tablet and had scanned in all my papers; ready to go, but utilizing the pen on the tablet and looking up at the computer screen to see what I was doing was such an unnatural act; after a few pieces I decided I’d rather stay traditional…this wasn’t for me. I also didn’t like the fact that I was stuck staring at a computer screen the whole day. It hurt.

And then I didn’t cut, or paste much at all…it was becoming apparent that “I was too old for this”. I got interested in other things…maybe this part of my life was over. I went off this path for a few years; which in hindsight was also part of the plan. I’m coming back with new tales to tell from my experiences after all.

At any rate, I went stagnant with art and switched to the writer in me. I wrote…and wrote…took a few classes… Worked on “the novel”…worked on a few manuscripts. Pulled out the paper and glue at some point and made a start of it again but never quite finished. The truth is it takes too long. This will never work…and wasn’t. Some years back I had enrolled in some online classes and could never finish the assignments in time and everyone else was digital and flying — this traditional technique takes too long and that also made it not viable for a sustainable career…and we do need a sustainable career. Hmmmmmmm…..yes, there’s that….

Thankfully logic won out in the end. I decided to make the investment and bought myself a Cintiq. On a Cintiq your pen hits the screen directly as you are drawing like you would on paper. AND Oh, happy day; it’s a world of difference! I carefully shopped on eBay and it delivered. Truthfully I should have done it years ago…but I was as I said; a bit stuck in my ways and fearful of the thing. Fear is always that little beast that will keep you from everything you want in life. Change is what everyone fears; yet it’s the only permanent thing in life…so why does it take so long to embrace it? Especially as we get older?!!!

Sigh….

So we bit the darn bullet. We struggled…we tried to remember what we forgot. We couldn’t keep the buttons straight or figure out what brushes suited us best. We sat and sat and found ourselves “painting” again. We questioned our technique again…we beat our head against the wall…we thought we had made a big mistake at the lowest point…but we kept showing up and pushing the digital pen across the screen…we made a mess of it but started over…and then something magical happened. We jumped the hurdle or fell off the cliff or something and like it happened when I finally broke into the business way back in 1999 (when I left the world of animation for kid’s books two years prior); I had a big cry right before I found the way.

Like a complete crisis! — and almost quit. Why is that always the way?!!!

…Something shifted and suddenly…. I GOT IT! OMG HURRAY! It was as if the training wheels were off and now we’re flying!!! WTH?! (I think I’m using the we pronoun because I think I had some help btw – lol).

SO…..Now let me tell you what I love about digital collage. I can do it faster. I can fix mistakes with the click of a button. No trees are harmed in the process. No sticky fingers. No needing tons of room to create. No procrastinating at the end because I’m afraid I’ll ruin it all. No more worrying I will run out of a certain type of paper especially if I am working on a book. I now have an unlimited “supply” of paper. I don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on paper which is great because all my paper supply stores seem to be gone and I don’t even live near any of them anymore if they do exist and thanks to covid – well, you know the drill…

I moved my set-up to the window which made a huge difference in my feeling of being locked up and I take frequent brakes and because it’s faster; I can do that. I have special blue light lenses in my glasses. In short, I made the leap and I love it. And I think I can make it a sustainable career now. 😉

Change is sooooooooo dang sweet. I’m ready to reemerge world as the new me! Cherry on top? There is always more to learn and thus evolve which suits my intellect just fine now. I’m now ready and able for my digital comeback. Look out world here I come!!!