This elephant is the character I’m currently developing for a new book idea
Here is a little example of the new way I am working… Very different!!!! Where once I was surrounded by piles and stacks of papers, some textured, some not; some filed in drawers, some bits and pieces stashed away in drawers; it would take a considerable amount of time to figure out the right papers to pick with the right amount of contrast. Now everything is neatly tucked away in a tiny little file folder on a desktop on a computer screen and all I have to do is tap it to do whatever I want with it.
How I do like that!!! Well, especially because I will be moving shortly and space in the new place is going to be a luxury I imagine. I am paring down my life in all forms… adapting a new lifestyle — that is the plan anyway… Going minimalist. Right now I’m selling most of my belongings and possessions save art supplies and some keepsakes. It seems that suddenly I just have no feeling for anything in my past…well maybe a few things; centering around my son and our love and life together…but most of everything else has lost it’s meaning to me. Could it be old age? haha maybe I just don’t want to die with a lot of stuff that my kid would have to deal with and be burdened by.
But this change makes sense for me I think; because I have been a packrat for a great many years. I am now rejecting that mode of thinking. Where once before I had many, many interests I am trying to pare down and stream line my hobbies: my creative projects ~ because I have discovered that while pursuing many different things was exciting and kept things interesting; I didn’t give it much chance to flourish before I was off to the next thing. But then again, I was discovering who I am…I have a feeling I am not done exploring btw. But to be fair, life was chaotic for a good many years and there was a lot of changes to adapt to. At any rate, I’m happy to say it is getting less so chaotic….and I am now protecting that aspect of my life. Fiercely. A lot of doors are closing. AND the next time I buy something it’s going to have to be pretty spectacular to return home with me. That’s all I can say. I have stopped creating a museum in my home and now crave experiences. heh The next chapter in my life I hope to be quite adventurous; because I will be heading into my sixties. OMG. Weird. Time really does fly. And I hope to be having some good fun in the process of whatever lies ahead of me.
See that snowman mug Raccoon is offering to Fox? Well, I drink out of it nearly everyday. Not at the end of the day; I need it to start my day. My nice hot cuppa coffee — latte style please with plenty of milky froth. I look forward to the cup every morning when I sit down first thing with my bullet journal (I hold myself accountable for every half hour of the day) and then my regular journal where I take the time to self- reflect. I’ve been doing this for almost five decades. The journaling…not the holding myself accountable…that’s new! And that’s why you are reading this post. Because now I get stuff done; thanks to the bullet journal. I highly recommend.trimming the tree this year…we had gigantic marshmallows; not like Fox and Raccoon who have the minis.
The current project that I am now developing is tentatively titled: Fox and Raccoon; A Christmas Story. It didn’t start out that way; it started out a few years back in the spring when everyone and everything becomes “twitterpatted” ~ myself included. It then came to a standstill when I couldn’t figure out where they were going with this twisted relationship of theirs…it got complicated…and so they got filed away in the cabinet. Banished from the brain.
too darn mushy for it’s own good!
This winter I decided to revive them and put them both in a different setting. Change their design and change some of their personality traits…change the story line. The magical element of Christmas might just do them both some good…and besides that; I kinda miss the bear and Christmas stories..and so here we go with another wintery tale…
Raccoon has changed his tune a little this winter…he’s a lot more stable than he used to be.Fox is now a lot less smitten than she used to be; a lot more grounded and less prone to flights of fancy. She also has to find a new home…time to move on for this foxy lady.
I’m still having a lot of fun converting my cut-paper style to digital and have really embraced this new change. Winter has always been a time for reflection, new goals and plans for the months that lie ahead. Even here in California; we have to accept some degree of hibernation in order to be more innovative and progressive. It’s a more natural way of being to follow seasons. This is the time for planning; but soon it will be time for a lot more of doing…come spring and summer..and hopefully all that work will be harvested in the fall and then back to more planning for next year. Add to that during this period of time with Covid and Lockdown; just about a year now; I have been able to grasp the silver lining in all it’s endless isolation and frustration…and found a way to be grateful for it; hard as it may be. I’m reinventing myself and my characters as well as my goals and my intentions.
There is a lot of change headed my way this coming summer, but I look forward to those changes with great anticipation and grateful to be evolving with my art and the stories I want to tell. It’s another chapter that is for sure. The journey continues after all…what secrets will be revealed I wonder…for right now; we have been living in the belly of the whale, in the dark, in the great unknown for quite a long time.
Letting go is a hard thing to do sometimes…but when we get stuck and stagnated it is a sign it’s time to go….not always an easy thing to do. We get so attached as human beings to people, places, things and ways of being. We cling to what we know because we are so afraid of what we do not know. It’s okay to feel the fear….but heck, we must do it anyway. 😉
I have given up my paper, my scissors and my glue for the time being. I will still use it occasionally for original pieces that I might put up for sale…etc. But I have decided to embrace new technology and let it start working for me…not so easy when you are pushing 60! WTH? When did that happen? lol
There was a big learning curve making the switch to digital; and I kept wanting to resist it for some reason; and I literally had to sit down and make a list of pros and cons of each medium to figure out what direction to go in…I guess the issue was I had the mindset that if I went to digital I would “paint” and not collage or do some type of combo of each and honestly; that I think was the stumbling block…thinking I had to reinvent the wheel or something! I’m not a painter… not really… and I had found success in the past with my cut-paper collage technique. Heck, I had a powerful dream in the middle of a sound sleep waking me up shouting “DO COLLAGE!!!!” when I was trying to break into the business so why should I abandon it now? I mean somebody wanted me to get on that road and bad!!!
Oddly enough, I seemed to have forgotten I had already been down this road a few years previous. I had purchased a second hand Wacom tablet and had scanned in all my papers; ready to go, but utilizing the pen on the tablet and looking up at the computer screen to see what I was doing was such an unnatural act; after a few pieces I decided I’d rather stay traditional…this wasn’t for me. I also didn’t like the fact that I was stuck staring at a computer screen the whole day. It hurt.
And then I didn’t cut, or paste much at all…it was becoming apparent that “I was too old for this”. I got interested in other things…maybe this part of my life was over. I went off this path for a few years; which in hindsight was also part of the plan. I’m coming back with new tales to tell from my experiences after all.
At any rate, I went stagnant with art and switched to the writer in me. I wrote…and wrote…took a few classes… Worked on “the novel”…worked on a few manuscripts. Pulled out the paper and glue at some point and made a start of it again but never quite finished. The truth is it takes too long. This will never work…and wasn’t. Some years back I had enrolled in some online classes and could never finish the assignments in time and everyone else was digital and flying — this traditional technique takes too long and that also made it not viable for a sustainable career…and we do need a sustainable career. Hmmmmmmm…..yes, there’s that….
Thankfully logic won out in the end. I decided to make the investment and bought myself a Cintiq. On a Cintiq your pen hits the screen directly as you are drawing like you would on paper. AND Oh, happy day; it’s a world of difference! I carefully shopped on eBay and it delivered. Truthfully I should have done it years ago…but I was as I said; a bit stuck in my ways and fearful of the thing. Fear is always that little beast that will keep you from everything you want in life. Change is what everyone fears; yet it’s the only permanent thing in life…so why does it take so long to embrace it? Especially as we get older?!!!
Sigh….
So we bit the darn bullet. We struggled…we tried to remember what we forgot. We couldn’t keep the buttons straight or figure out what brushes suited us best. We sat and sat and found ourselves “painting” again. We questioned our technique again…we beat our head against the wall…we thought we had made a big mistake at the lowest point…but we kept showing up and pushing the digital pen across the screen…we made a mess of it but started over…and then something magical happened. We jumped the hurdle or fell off the cliff or something and like it happened when I finally broke into the business way back in 1999 (when I left the world of animation for kid’s books two years prior); I had a big cry right before I found the way.
Like a complete crisis! — and almost quit. Why is that always the way?!!!
…Something shifted and suddenly…. I GOT IT! OMG HURRAY! It was as if the training wheels were off and now we’re flying!!! WTH?! (I think I’m using the we pronoun because I think I had some help btw – lol).
SO…..Now let me tell you what I love about digital collage. I can do it faster. I can fix mistakes with the click of a button. No trees are harmed in the process. No sticky fingers. No needing tons of room to create. No procrastinating at the end because I’m afraid I’ll ruin it all. No more worrying I will run out of a certain type of paper especially if I am working on a book. I now have an unlimited “supply” of paper. I don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on paper which is great because all my paper supply stores seem to be gone and I don’t even live near any of them anymore if they do exist and thanks to covid – well, you know the drill…
I moved my set-up to the window which made a huge difference in my feeling of being locked up and I take frequent brakes and because it’s faster; I can do that. I have special blue light lenses in my glasses. In short, I made the leap and I love it. And I think I can make it a sustainable career now. 😉
Change is sooooooooo dang sweet. I’m ready to reemerge world as the new me! Cherry on top? There is always more to learn and thus evolve which suits my intellect just fine now. I’m now ready and able for my digital comeback. Look out world here I come!!!
theresa Smythe Arts 